The Heart of a Teacher

The second grade student glared at her teacher as she stomped across the classroom to her locker. She opened her locker door and crammed her jacket inside and then slammed the door shut. Her classmates sat silently staring between her and the teacher. Many of them were scared of this student as she had been known to get into fights, regularly threatened others, and was prone to outbursts in the classroom. The teacher worked to quickly redirect everyone and move the focus of the classroom back to the task at hand, but the student wasn’t ready to give up her spotlight. She continued to grunt loudly and refused to work despite her teacher’s best efforts. Her arms were crossed over her chest and her mouth was set in a snarl. Her teacher decided to leave her alone and hoped that she would move on from her feelings, but the student continued to pout for the remainder of the afternoon.

The next morning at the bus stop a parent overheard this same student telling another student that she had a knife in her backpack. She explained that she was mad at her teacher for making her put her jacket in her locker yesterday and she also talked about how she hated her teacher because she made her get in trouble all the time. The parent was scared to confront the student because her mom was also at the bus stop, so she quickly called the school and let us know what had happened. Upon investigating the situation, the knife was found in the student’s backpack. She did not admit it at first. There were many denials and much arguing before she finally admitted that she had the knife. Once she admitted having it, then came the many stories as to why she had it…. she accidentally picked it up, she found it and was just bringing it to school, and she just wanted to show it to her friends. At one point, in answering why she brought the knife to school, she smiled and stated “I’m not trying to kill nobody.” Her mom was called to the school and she also denied that her daughter would have the knife even when we showed her the knife. “We don’t even own a knife!” she yelled. She blamed it on us, she blamed it on other students at the bus stop, she blamed it on the teacher, she blamed it on anyone but her daughter. She yelled at us and stormed from the building with her daughter.

Due to the nature of the situation and the size of the knife found in her backpack it was decided that she would be suspended pending a disciplinary hearing at the district office. A disciplinary hearing is reserved for students who commit more serious offenses or students who have consistent disciplinary issues. This student fit both reasons for a disciplinary hearing as she had a history of fighting both at school and on the bus and a history of disruption in the classroom. Mom was notified of the disciplinary hearing and invited to attend. At the disciplinary hearing the school presented an outline of behavior issues the student was known to have as well as an overview of what happened the day the knife was brought to school. The disciplinary board then asked questions of the student and her mom before convening to make a decision.

When I returned to school, her teacher was waiting to hear what had happened at the disciplinary hearing. She had been upset throughout the whole situation and felt that she had clearly been the target of the student bringing the knife. She knew the student had been mad at her and felt that with her volatile and impulsive behavior, it was a real possibility that she could have tried to hurt her or a classmate. It broke my heart to tell her that the student would be returning the following Monday. There was no consequence, other than a few days of suspension. She would return and be in her classroom Monday morning. The teacher cried, she worried, and she wondered how she would move forward when this student returned.

Upon returning, we, as a school, put some supports into place for this student. One was that her backpack was searched each morning. As I met with her that first Monday, I could tell she was very nervous, so I took some time to really talk to her about how she felt and worked to make her feel comfortable. I walked her down to her classroom and held her hand as we opened the door. Her teacher came over and welcomed her back to class. Her classmates smiled at her and waved as she entered the room. That second grade student looked around and began to cry. She cried, ran to her teacher, and practically jumped into her arms. The teacher looked at me and just hugged that little girl as tears streamed down her face. She leaned down to her and told her that everything was okay. She told her that she loved her. She welcomed her back to the classroom, showed her that her desk was still in the same place, and then proceeded to get her started on her morning work. I noticed as this went on that the other students became silent as they watched what was happening. They look nervous at first, but as their teacher hugged this student and welcomed her back to class, they immediately relaxed and went back to their work.

Most people walk out the door to work on a daily basis with an expectation of going to work and completing their job. They start their day without the fear or even the thought of being attacked. However, educators today do not have that luxury. Many walk into school on a daily basis knowing that they are going to be attacked. They know they are going to be kicked, hit, and spit on. They know that students are going to threaten them; that they are going to threaten their classmates. They know that students and oftentimes parents are going to yell at them, cuss at them, berate, and belittle them. They often know that they may likely have to deal with these things without the support of administration. Teachers go to school and practice active shooter scenarios and then come home to watch the news only to hear about what a terrible job they are doing. Teachers put themselves, literally, in the line of fire for their students only to be told they are not doing enough because of scores on an arbitrary test. Yet, they continue to show up. Why?

Stop and imagine just for a minute the feeling that someone might be threatening you. Imagine knowing that someone made the point of bringing a knife because they were mad at you. Imagine that the person you were worried about hurting you was someone you had invested in, someone you had worked with to teach, someone you had gone above and beyond to help. Imagine that you went to work daily only to have someone hit you or kick you. Imagine that you are at work and someone spits in your face. Imagine that you have a family of your own at home…maybe you are a single mom, maybe you have a spouse, or maybe you still live with your parents. Maybe you have children of your own. Imagine how they would feel to find out that someone brought a knife with the intention of hurting you.

The heart of a teacher is amazing. Teachers deal with significant behavior and mental health issues on a daily basis. Teachers are not trained for many of these issues. Teachers go to school to be teachers. Teachers learn about engaging students in learning, the science of reading, or mathematical strategies only to get a job and have to figure out being a counselor, a social worker, a mentor, or a nurse. In spite of these concerns, teachers manage to create classroom environments where students feel loved. All students feel loved. They create environments that are welcoming, nurturing, and safe. They provide environments that give students a fresh start each day. The student in this story brought a knife to school, a big knife. Maybe she did just want to show it to her friends, maybe she brought it because she was mad at a classmate, but maybe she brought it because she was mad at her teacher. Any way you look at it, it was a threat and it was scary. A threat that most people don’t have to endure, but a teacher does. A fear that most people can’t understand, but a teacher does. Within the heart of every good teacher lies empathy, kindness, and the perseverance needed to come to work everyday. Teachers deserve better and my hope is that some day things get better, but until then, it is the hearts of teachers that keep education going.